To the engaged couples in my life

melissawardwell
Jan 3, 2015
3 min read

In the last six months, I have had at least 3 couples make the decision to approach the alter and another was married very recently. Some will be married in 2015, while I believe one is waiting another year. I am so excited for their pending nuptials and can not wait to see them say their vows.

Taking that step to commit yourself to one person for the rest of your life is a major step. If you have been single your entire adult life and been pretty independent, it is a big step. You have to fit someone else's cares and time into your time. There is no more just you, but instead now there is 'We'.

So, what makes me qualified to give these tips? 15 years of experience and figuring out the hard way.

Some are a little out there, some not quite so bad, others will put you out of your comfort zone. Here we go!

1) Ladies, I recommend a great book! ( Hay, what kind of reader and writer would I be with out making a book recommendation? ) "Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex" ! Yup, I said SEX! It is a reality y'all! If you are married I would hope you have some. I wish I had this book when I got married. It blows a lot of the religious junk that has been put on Christian women for centuries out of the water. (Here is a picture of the cover- you can find this book online- The Author is Sheila W. Gregoire and you can find it on her web site as well. Yes! She is a Christian!)

2) Have Fun and play! So many think that once they get married that all the fun is gone and they have to be "grown up" all the time. If you can not laugh with your other half and be completely you, then what is the point. Don't ever lose your willingness to play and have fun. Jon and I still joke around, pick on eachother, and have the occasional tickle matches. Nerf Guns are great toys!

3) Don't be Afraid to be disgustingly cute together! Hold hands, cuddle on a park bench, say I love you in the middle of the store with out any shame. You married this person for a reason, so why hide the fact that you love them.

4) Have a weekly conference with your spouse! Jon and I started doing this in June 2014 and it has been the best part of our marriage. We don't schedule the time, but when he is feeling chatty, I stop and listen and use the time to talk about what ever is on my mind.

Now that doean't mean bomb-bard him with everything he does that you hate. But chose things wisely. God willing, you have many years to talk things out, you don't have to talk about everything at one time.

5) Take Time for yourself! Not a lot of time, but enough to refresh. I do mine every morning. Bible-worship-pray-shower- then give my time to the rest of the household. There is nothing wrong with a bit of "me time" or "me and God time"

6) Make God your first Husband! I know it is a weird way to think of things, but hear me out.

God created you. He made you just the way you are- beautifully and wonderfully. When you take time out of your crazy busy day to spend time with your Creator and the ultimate Matchmaker ( He did give you the person you are about to say "I DO" to) , It becomes easier to love the human you will lay next to everynight UNCONDITIONALY.

I did not learn this until a few years ago. Jon and I might have handle the early stages of our marriage so much better if I had done this from the start.

7) NEVER SAY DIVORCE OR LET THE WORDS COME FROM YOUR MOUTH! The Bible says you can issues "Blessings and cursings" from your mouth. Everytime that word falls from your lips, it is a curse!

I hope and Pray that these help and these are not guarantee. The only guarantee is if you keep God as your center, the rest is bearable!

Congratulations to these wonderful couples!!! I love you guys and pray the path ahead of you is filled with more joy than sorrow, more peace than strife, and all the love your hearts can handle!

Aaron and Rachel James and Lauren Doug and Charity